If Only Dr. Seuss Wrote My Textbooks…

If I say “One fish, Two fish…” and you don’t immediately respond with “Red Fish, Blue fish”, that will tell me all I need to know about your character (and we probably can’t be friends).

Okay, that might be a little harsh, but I can say with complete confidence that you seriously missed out as a kid.

Personally, it was very hard to take the remote from my tiny hands and replace it with a book when I was a kid. Now, I love to read, but if it weren’t for these children’s books, I might still prefer to be glued to the TV for all of my free time.

It’s so hard to believe that these classics will probably seem old fashioned once it’s time for me to raise my own children. Fortunately/ unfortunately for the poor souls who have to call me “Mom”, they have no choice but to have these Top Picks on their book shelf.

  1. “Put me in The Zoo”

  2. “Hop on Pop”

  3. Dr. Seuss’ ABC’s

  4. “Fox in Sox’

  5. Are You My Mother?

  6. “Love You Forever”

  7. “Brown Bear, Brown Bear What DO You See?”

  8. “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”

  9. Green Eggs and Ham

  10. Romona the Pest

  11. The Mouse on the Motorcycle

I’m sure there were many more that were the building blocks of your childhood, but these are definitely my favorite. You’re very welcome for this long overdue blast from the past. Happy reading!

xoxo,

B

 

Finally-a Pinterest Success!

I hope I don’t stand alone when I say that my Pinterest boards may exaggerate on just how crafty, fashionable, and domestic I am.

However, I recently tried to actually make one of the recipes that I had Pinned (which if you’ve read my previous post “Bucket List”, this is # 11). The recipe I chose was Extra Crispy Potato Wedges from Baker By Nature.

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This recipe was everything I thought it would be and more. I chose this recipe for a few reasons:

  1. I already had all of the ingredients at home, so there was no need to run to the store.
  2. I LOVE potatoes and sweet potatoes but I had some extra time and felt like getting creative.
  3. I was hungry.
  4. It didn’t take long at all!

I also really liked this recipe because you could, for the most part, just eyeball the ingredients as opposed to needing to bust out all of the measuring tools. For some reason, I have this unexplainable disdain for measuring tools, which I always regret because my cookies always come out a little saltier than I would like.

Mine turned out to be a little bit burned on the edges but i couldn’t even tell when I was eating them!

They were absolutely DELICIOUS and I just went to Kroger and invested in  a ton of sweet potatoes so I could do it again. I strongly recommend this recipe.

Happy cooking!

xoxo,

B

 

So a girl walks into a Walmart Super Store…

After a long day of class and meetings, the last thing I want to do is venture into the vast and unknown world of Walmart. However, my roommate is going through mid-semester crisis and needed hair dye in order to ease her need for change.

So, off we went.

Walmart is a land of opportunity. The opportunities you have aren’t always necessarily good ones, but they are opportunities none the less. As a walked past the mountains of products, and groceries and lawn chairs, I realized how many questions and comments were going through my head.

I have decided to compile a list of thoughts that cross most people’s mind as they venture into the unknown crevice of the earth that we call Walmart.

  1. “Aren’t the greeters supposed to look happy? This guy looks like he could eat small children for breakfast.”
  2. “I remember when they would give out those smiley face stickers. Who was the jerk that disbanded that amazing policy? I loved those stickers…’
  3. “Oh wow, only 3 dollars for a set of 5 bungie chords, what a deal! Wait a minute, no. I don’t even need those.”
  4. “Why is that child screaming?”
  5. “Sir, please invest in a belt.”
  6. “How on earth did she get her hair that big?”
  7. “Why do I ALWAYS get the cart that has a wobbly wheel?!”
  8. “All I need is a [insert basic item here], WHY CAN I NOT FIND IT?”
  9.  “10 pizzas for 10 dollars? Who on God’s green Earth needs to fill their fridge with 10 pizzas?”
  10. “How is that child STILL screaming?”
  11. “Ok, if you are going to take 7 years to pick out a deodorant, I’m going to need you to NOT block the entire aisle with your cart.”
  12. “There are approximately 32 cash registers, and 2 cashiers working…makes sense.”
  13. “Alright little girl, your mom is not getting you a candy bar- GIVE IT UP.”

Whether we’re out of Q-tips, need to stock our fridge, or furnish the patio, Walmart has our back.

…Whether we like it or not.

xoxo,

B

Bucket List

We all have those things that maybe “one day” we’ll get around to doing. I never really thought about making a bucket list, so I thought I’d give it a try. As of today, I can only think of 17 things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket (some more out-there than others), but hopefully I will be able both add, and cross off some of these things as different opportunities present themselves.

  1. Hold a baby bear
  2. Go on a backpacking trip with my best friends across Europe
  3. Walk on a tightrope at a circus and fall into the net
  4. Go on a hot air balloon ride
  5. Ride on a train
  6. Put an ornament on the giant christmas tree in NYC
  7. Learn how to sew
  8. Learn how to cook really well
  9. Actually make the recipes that I have pinned on Pinterest
  10. Be front row center of a concert to an artist or band thats not in english
  11. Ride in a gondola in Italy
  12. Basically reenact “Eat, Pray, Love”
  13. Sing karaoke at a bar

xoxo,

B

We Accept the [blank] We Think We Deserve

This is a popular quote from the book “Perks of Being a Wallflower”, and to this day I think that it is the truest piece of knowledge I have ever heard. In the text, the quote is known as “We accept the love we think we deserve”, but I think that it can be applicable with just about anything.

Too often we see people settling for less than what they want, and less than what they deserve. I find myself making excuses for why I settle for certain things.

There’s no need to be dramatic about it all, but let’s all just stop settling for things when we deserve better! It sounds so simple, but in reality it’s so easy to make excuses for ourselves. Self-worth needs to be put higher on everyone’s priority list, including my own.

So let’s all just get a grip, and remember how awesome we are; And if you have had a tough week- just splurge a little on the stupid soup, or shoes, or whatever that costs a little extra.

YOU DESERVE IT, YA FILTHY ANIMAL.

xoxo,

B

 

Would I Accept This Rose?

A few semesters ago, I took a class called Western Civilization. We studied whole societies that had left behind their entire legacies through artifacts that we have unearthed. We have had to connect the dots and take great leaps in order to understand these civilizations.

Archeologists uncover a scroll with an extensive variety of drawings of strange creatures, and they might come to the conclusion that those are all of the gods that the society worships

…but what if all it was, was just the doodles of an angsty teen?

Imagine a billion years from now, our society no longer exists and a spaceship comes down to find what we had left behind. Imagine, if all they have to explain our great nation, is a season of The Bachelor.

As much as we hate to admit it, this show is  A D D I C T I N G.

The young women on the show will quit their job, leave their kids, and essentially put their lives on hold, in order to go date a guy, who they don’t know, and is openly dating about 20 other girls. I am sitting on my couch, watching as these girls are comforting each other about any problems they’re having about dating the same guy:

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he still has feelings for you. When I go on my date with him, I’ll be sure to talk you up.”

Come again?

Personally, I would love to watch this show without all of the dramatic background music. There must be such a plethora of awkward silences during these scenes. In this past episode, I especially enjoyed when, after Ben gave a certain psychopath the boot, the camera man and producers felt it necessary to zoom in and out on frames of the poor girl all alone on the beach as Ben and the other girl rode off into the sunset. Cruel? Yes. Slightly hilarious? A little bit.

I don’t find her obvious heartbreak as hilarious as the fact that the camera man or producer probably made the poor girl stand around, on that horribly windy island, crying, and getting pelted with sand so they could really capture the moment.

“Okay, yes, keep crying just like that. Now, gaze into the distance and watch as the man who just ripped your heart to shreds leaves you alone on this island to be with 6 other womenYou can have a tissue when we’re done, now GAZE! Work those tears!!”

I don’t think getting dumped could get much worse than that. However, it’s hard to feel bad for someone who gets to be flown around to different romantic destinations around the world and fall in love with a hot guy. And it only cost her a little heartbreak. Buck up kiddo, that’s why God made wine and chocolate!

I will neither confirm, nor deny, if I have the application to be on the next season of The Bachelor saved on my computer…

Hopefully this show, although it is a guilty pleasure for so many, isn’t the only thing left to define our society, but at least the aliens would be thoroughly entertained.

xoxo,

B

 

 

Hello, My Name Is Vegan.

Last February, after reading a book called Skinny Bitch, I decided to try to be a vegan.

*Cue the gasps, screams, and horrified moans.*

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Here’s my dad and I on my 21st birthday, where my roommates had me wear this sign all night.

When I was first getting started, it was pretty difficult. Obviously, I would have the problem where the only thing I wanted in the entire universe was to eat an entire tray of Chic-fil-a nuggets, but I got over it. Now, the worst thing about being vegan is other people’s reactions. I get a range between “Wow, good for you!” and “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF, ARE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE?!”

People think I’m either obsessed with being skinny (lol no) or that I’m some kind of hippie freak who’s trying to save the world one organic piece of tofu at a time (also, lol no).

My interest in vegan-ism started when my sister, who is a nutrition major, decided that she wanted to try it. If you had told me 2 years ago that I was going to become a vegan, I would have laughed so hard that I might have accidentally spit some of my baby back ribs on you. Sorry for the gross imagery, but you get the picture.

If I wasn’t so stubborn, I probably would’ve only lasted about a month doing this, but whenever someone tells me that they don’t think I will be able to do something, I have to prove them wrong. And believe me, I had a LOT of people who didn’t think I could do it.

So to all of the nonbelievers…

If you haven’t read Skinny Bitch, I strongly recommend it. If you are definitely set on NOT becoming vegan or vegetarian, I just suggest that you skip the chapter that has first hand accounts from people who work in meat factories.

If I’m being totally honest, I am the worst vegan EVER. I’m more of a vegetarian that tries really, really hard to avoid dairy. If a salad has little shreds of cheese  on top, or the pasta is technically made with egg, I’m not going to be obnoxious and send it back. However, you won’t see me drinking a huge milkshake and eating cheesy scrambled eggs. The reason I don’t tell people that I’m just a vegetarian, is because everything that is vegetarian is absolutely LOADED with cheese or cream, which I would rather avoid if I can.

I don’t want to get too into why it’s so great too be a vegan because the authors of Skinny Bitch do a much better job than I ever could. I know I’m starting to sound like a commercial for this book, but it is just that good. It’s an easy read, hilarious, and has some really great points about eating animal based products that I had honestly never considered before.

So, yes I am a vegan. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s move on.
funny-vegan-jokes

xoxo,

B

Let’s All Get Real

Swipe, double-tap, favorite, like, repeat. It’s become part of our daily routine. We are personally offended if someone doesn’t like our picture on Instagram or favorite our tweet. Self-validation and approval is no longer a want in the society we live in, it is a NEED.

The other day, I was riding on the bus and there were two girls who were having a conversation about their struggle of finding a new roommate. The conversation went something like this:

Girl 1: “Ugh, seriously, we’re going to end up having to live with some kind of weirdo.”

Girl 2: “That would be an absolute nightmare. Didn’t you say you got an email from a girl that looked relatively normal though?”

Girl 1: “Yeah I stalked her on Instagram and she only gets like maybe 80 likes on her posts.”

…I’m sorry, but is this some kind of joke?

Am I the only one whose eyebrows raised?! Somewhere on the lease agreement must say “Tenant must receive an average of 150 likes per post on Instagram or security deposit will be withheld.”

I recently came across an article on Elite Daily and Elle (link found here) and it was absolutely inspiring.

A very short synopsis of the article is that this absolutely STUNNING young girl from Australia, named  Essena O’Neill, had been paid to post Instagram posts in order to promote products like dresses and bikinis. This “Instagram Famous” model had an enormous following and was very influential considering this girl could literally wear a burlap sack and look like she was on her way to the Grammy’s.

One day Essena realized that what she was doing was, as she put it “not real”. She then re-captioned all of her previous posts and explained the behind the scenes version of this perfect photo. She disclosed how many times she had to retake the “candid” photo, how she would have eaten very little that day in order to maintain her figure, and other aspects behind the picture.

YOU GO, GIRL.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if I could go back through my pictures and admit how much I was sucking in, or how much thought I put into my “candid” pose just to make sure it was flattering. We all want to seem fabulously effortless while still looking like we have our life together and are as happy as a clam.

How many times do we wake up after we post a picture or tweet, and peer through barely-open eyes onto a bright, and unforgiving screen, to check to make sure we’re getting the amount of likes we deserve.

..or maybe that’s just me…awkward…

EVEN SO, I thought it was incredibly admirable for Essena to recognize, and publicly acknowledge her own need for the approval of others. I hope to follow her example and use social media as an outlet to express myself with the sole purpose of expressing myself, and my ideas, instead of seeking the approval of others.

Until next time,

xoxo,

B

 

Desperate Times Call For Strange Food Combinations

The bags were packed with extension cords, command hooks, and shower caddies. We all thought we knew what to expect. We knew there would be peer pressure, challenging classes, and community bathrooms, but we were never prepared for the creativity that we would need to survive…

College cafeterias seemed a lot cooler when we visited the school for the first time and weren’t having to eat from it 3 times a day 7 days a week. Sometimes, we had to salvage scraps from convenience stores and snacks that university clubs were passing out on the walk to class to get you to write down your email address. Here is a list of some of the…”interesting” combinations that have been tried, but were not always true.

  1. Tortilla chips with chocolate chips
  2. Tuna and edamame
  3. Funfetti cake mix mixed with milk
  4. Mac ‘n cheese with quinoa
  5. “College Chicken alfredo” (chicken nuggets, ramen noodles and alfredo sauce)
  6. Popcorn and hot sauce
  7. Pickles and peanut butter
  8. Pickles and oreos
  9. Popcorn and Nutella
  10. Ramen noodles with hot sauce and cheese
  11. Pickles and ice cream
  12. Nutella and fries
  13. Uncooked ravioli
  14. Taco Bell Quesadilla with Zaxby’s sauce
  15. Ketchup sandwiches
  16. Pepperoni and peanut butter sandwiches
  17. Cheetos and pudding
  18. Grapes and Ranch dressing
  19. Pizza and apple sauce
  20. Tomato sauce and fried rice
  21. An entire container of pimento cheese
  22. Potato chips and pesto
  23. Wheat thins and Nutella
  24. Uncooked Ramen noodles and honey mustard
  25. Cheese and apples
  26. Putting mayonnaise on just about anything
  27. Hot sauce and Doritos
  28. Cheez Itz and Nutella
  29. Hot sauce and plain noodles
  30. Whole can of black beans

I got by with a little help from my friends coming up with this list, so thanks for having really eccentric snack choices ladies! Most of these combinations were concocted in the dorm rooms freshman year. I have now been a vegan since February 2015, so unfortunately I am no longer able to “indulge” in these barley-edible combinations…oh darn…

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on any odd vegan food combinations that I have to throw together.

(Its also only fair that I disclose the fact that I haven’t gone to the grocery store in a while and just made myself an applesauce sandwich…)

xoxo,

B