After a long day of class and meetings, the last thing I want to do is venture into the vast and unknown world of Walmart. However, my roommate is going through mid-semester crisis and needed hair dye in order to ease her need for change.
So, off we went.
Walmart is a land of opportunity. The opportunities you have aren’t always necessarily good ones, but they are opportunities none the less. As a walked past the mountains of products, and groceries and lawn chairs, I realized how many questions and comments were going through my head.
I have decided to compile a list of thoughts that cross most people’s mind as they venture into the unknown crevice of the earth that we call Walmart.
- “Aren’t the greeters supposed to look happy? This guy looks like he could eat small children for breakfast.”
- “I remember when they would give out those smiley face stickers. Who was the jerk that disbanded that amazing policy? I loved those stickers…’
- “Oh wow, only 3 dollars for a set of 5 bungie chords, what a deal! Wait a minute, no. I don’t even need those.”
- “Why is that child screaming?”
- “Sir, please invest in a belt.”
- “How on earth did she get her hair that big?”
- “Why do I ALWAYS get the cart that has a wobbly wheel?!”
- “All I need is a [insert basic item here], WHY CAN I NOT FIND IT?”
- “10 pizzas for 10 dollars? Who on God’s green Earth needs to fill their fridge with 10 pizzas?”
- “How is that child STILL screaming?”
- “Ok, if you are going to take 7 years to pick out a deodorant, I’m going to need you to NOT block the entire aisle with your cart.”
- “There are approximately 32 cash registers, and 2 cashiers working…makes sense.”
- “Alright little girl, your mom is not getting you a candy bar- GIVE IT UP.”
Whether we’re out of Q-tips, need to stock our fridge, or furnish the patio, Walmart has our back.
…Whether we like it or not.